Sexual Addiction & Betrayal Trauma: Boundaries, Grief and Healing with Roxanna Johnson

Lisa Lacy welcomes Roxanna Johnson, an author, speaker, and advocate whose work focuses on helping women and spouses heal from betrayal trauma. Roxanna's message is deeply shaped by her lived experience, extensive research, and years of supporting individuals in recovery communities. Her book, "Forgotten in the Battle with Sexual Addiction: The Journey of a Spouse," addresses the often-overlooked experiences of spouses and partners of those struggling with addiction.

The "Bomb" of Disclosure and the Hidden Nature of Betrayal Trauma

Roxanna begins by describing the day her husband of nearly 24 years disclosed his hidden pattern of sexual addiction as "the bomb." This term resonates with many women she has worked with, who often refer to it as "D-day" or similar. This day fundamentally shifts one's world, shattering the perceived reality of their life. Betrayal trauma, Roxanna explains, occurs when someone you trust breaks that trust, whether financially, sexually, emotionally, physically, or mentally. This type of trauma is a relatively new area of study; when Roxanna first experienced it, "betrayal trauma" was not a recognized term, despite research dating back to the 1990s. The lack of recognition is largely due to the historical oversight of the families and spouses of those struggling with addiction. Services and well-meaning individuals often focus solely on the addicted person, believing that fixing the addict will fix the family. Roxanna firmly states that this is not true. Living in a dysfunctional environment, which addiction inevitably creates, changes you. Spouses often develop a "dance" to survive, a coping mechanism that becomes obsolete once the truth is revealed. This revelation brings a flood of emotions, leading to self-doubt and questioning the authenticity of one's entire life.