646: The Secret of My Death

Charlie, a retired officer in the Navy, wrote an essay about a guy who helped him, a Marine who died in Iraq, Major Richard Gannon, the Second. Charlie went to a stranger’s funeral and had to piece together all the stuff he would want to know in that kind of situation. This is his story.

The Random Text Message

Charlie and his friend Mark went to the Naval Academy together. After graduation, Charlie went on to become a Naval aviator. He flew medevac helicopters in Iraq in 2007. His friend Mark joined the Navy SEALs, the Navy special operations forces. What was the text that you got from Mark?

Charlie says, "Hey, I got a job for you." And Charlie's response came back, "Does it involve explosives?" Charlie says, "Uh, and he says, attend the service of a frogman in my absence." Frogman is a nickname for a Navy SEAL. The funeral was going to be in San Diego, and Mark, who lives in Florida, couldn't make it. So he asked Charlie, who lives nearby, to go in his place. Charlie says, "That was the moment where it was like that moment of decision where it's like, well, do I really want to go to a funeral of somebody I don't know in his absence?" Charlie says, "If it was anybody but Mark, I probably would have, would have made an excuse." So did you sit there for like a minute or two before you wrote him back, thinking of excuses not to go?

Charlie says, "I'd be lying if I said no. I I I did think of a few excuses not to go because, you know, funerals aren't one of those things that people like attending to begin with, and let alone the funeral of somebody that you don't know, which technically seems a little rude because just doesn't seem appropriate." But Charlie wrote Mark back, said, "Send me the details and I'll do it." And then, in the swirl of his own life and work and family, he kind of forgot about it.