30 Years of Marriage: 3 Things About Relationships I Wish Someone Told Me Sooner

Mel Robbins and her husband Christopher Robbins celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary by sharing three profound lessons they’ve learned about relationships. These are insights they wish someone had shared with them decades ago, lessons learned through the ups and downs of life, career changes, financial struggles, and raising three children.

The First Lesson: "You're My Favorite Person"

Mel and Christopher open the podcast reflecting on their 30 years together, describing it as a “giant whoosh” of growing up, getting and losing jobs, raising kids, paying bills, getting into and out of debt, moving, fighting, struggling, making up, growing apart, and finding their way back to each other. Through it all, they’ve always found their way back. Mel tearfully introduces the first lesson, a piece of relationship advice she considers the best she’s ever heard: “You’re my favorite person.”

Mel explains that when life gets hard, it’s easy to become hard on your partner. She admits that when life hardened her, she brought that edge into their relationship. Christopher agrees, noting that in the early days of their relationship, before they faced significant challenges, it was easy to feel like Mel was his favorite person. However, he recalls a specific period in their 20s when he made a career change, launched an unsuccessful business, and struggled financially. During this time, he admits he “stopped listening” to Mel, becoming so focused on himself that he was oblivious to her unhappiness. This led to a decade where they were more like “roommates,” handling logistics but losing their emotional connection.

Mel emphasizes that the phrase “You’re my favorite person” serves as both a test and a lifeline. If you’ve never felt that way about your partner, you might be in the wrong relationship. But if you’re going through a tough time, these words can pull you back to what’s still true: the person you fell in love with is still there. She shares Christopher’s habit of leaving her handwritten Post-it notes with loving messages, which instantly makes her feel like his favorite person and reminds her of their connection. Christopher reciprocates, explaining that Mel’s gesture of leaving a single flower on his desk brings him back to their first date and her authentic joy, making him feel like her favorite.